My Story

As a Therapist and Board Certified Behavior Analyst working in families’ homes, schools, clinics, and in the community I noticed an astounding trend: the more progress the parents made on their goals, the more progress their child made.

When parents were not making progress on their goals, it would usually be caused by not being able to respond from authentiity but react from outdated survival loops their nervous systems switch on (leaving them feeling powerless and regretful).
Especially in times of high stress, fatigues, or chaos in the home.

Parents would give me a look that says, “Well duh I know to respond that way but it’s just hard to do that in the moment.”

This “want to” but “can’t do it” gap got me wondering. What is missing?

Then I stumbled upon Jai’s Parent Coaching Curriculum and in it was Dr. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s discoveries in interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB)!
As a BCBA, this caused some cognitive dissonance at first but when I tried the IPNB techniques of co-regulation and validation with my clients (and now my son), it made me fall in love with my work all over again! I got to tell the parents I support in the home about these beautiful concepts and boy were they interested and ready to implement these loving concepts!

Coincidentally, around the same time, Courtney and Jonathan Tarbox did a study on Kind Extinction which demonstrated that validation (ie. arbitrary reinforcement) can serve as an effective procedure to decrease target behavior. This was Applied Behavior Analysis's way of bridging the gap between the newer and more compassionate work of IPNB and Behaviorism.

Some parents still had a difficult time with co-regulating which made them less likely to soothe with validating statements and holding space for their young one’s emotions. What else could be missing?

Nervous system science! Now for this topic I am ethically taking my BCBA hat off for.
I am speaking about this topic from an applicable point of view that answers the question: How can I help parents feel more in control of their interactions with their loved ones (this works for all relationships) so they respond the way that "just feels right" (as many of the parents I support would say).

I then stumbled upon Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) which is how Tony Robbins transforms so many lives.
The creator of EMDR, a research-backed trauma-informed procedure that can alleviate traumatic reactions, was an NLP Practitioner. Anyways, NLP has plenty of different ways to reset the nervous system, especially when it comes to changing behaviors in the moment.

I named my own method the Neuro-Behavioral Reset. It can take anywhere from 10 to 40 minutes. It is thee most fullfiling experience. To be able to give parents a way to transform their own reactions during challenging situations is welcoming harmony to be in the home more consistently. They can then take this practice and teach it to their children. It's a gift that gives and gives to infinite (and beyond!).

I’ve noticed only one or two sessions produces lasting results which I was skeptical of at first. Then when I continued to check on parents, friends, and family I guided through this process, their results continued.

Results include:

Feeling “calm,” “still,” “at home,” “comfy,” or “solid,” even during moments of chaos around them.

Aha moments that allow them to come to clear action steps they may not have ever come to.
Laughter! At challenging situations they once felt heavy emotions around.

A release of emotions that was gentle and “just what I needed.”

More empathy for others and knowing exactly what to do after seeing from that vantage point.

Increase in positive self talk not just when parenting but in other relationships as well.

Feeling inspired to learn how to do the Neuro-Behavioral Reset with themselves and others.

This led me to create Parent From Love.