Doing Things I Later Regret

Why those regretful moments are signals of care, not signs of failure.

Doing Things I Later Regret

Why those regretful moments are signals of care, not signs of failure.

You said it louder than you meant to.
 You slammed the door.
 You punished quickly—then instantly wished you could take it back.

Then comes the flood:
 “Why did I do that?”
 “I promised I’d be calmer.”
 “I’m messing up my kid.”

Let me stop you right there.
 You’re not a bad parent. You’re a human parent.
 And that regret? That’s not failure—it’s a signal. A signal that you care.

 

Why It Keeps Happening (Even When You Know Better)

Parenting pushes us to our edges.
 We’re exhausted, overwhelmed, triggered by our own childhood wounds, or trying to parent in ways we never experienced ourselves.

Reacting in the heat of the moment is a nervous system response—not a moral flaw.
 When you yell or act in a way you regret, it’s often because:

  • Your body is in survival mode (fight, flight, or freeze)

     

  • You’re lacking rest, support, or time to regulate

     

  • You don’t have enough space between the trigger and your reaction

What to Do After the Moment

1. Pause and Breathe

Before jumping into guilt or shame, breathe.
 Say to yourself: “That wasn’t how I want to show up. And I can make this right.”

2. Repair with Your Child

Repair is more powerful than perfection.
 Say something like:
 🗣️ “I got really frustrated, and I yelled. That wasn’t okay. I’m sorry.”
 🗣️ “You didn’t deserve that. I’m working on being calmer.”

When we repair, we teach our children:

  • Mistakes are part of relationships
  • Emotions can be named and managed
  • Accountability is safe and healing

3. Reflect and Reset

Ask:
 – “What pushed me over the edge?”
 – “What support do I need?”
 – “What can I do differently next time?”

 

Progress, Not Perfection

The goal isn’t to never mess up.
 It’s to notice, name, and nurture through the moments when we do.

Parenting is hard.
 But your willingness to repair is what builds trust, safety, and connection with your child.

You’re not raising a perfect child.
 And you don’t have to be perfect either.
 You’re raising a human. While becoming one, too.